Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Top Self-Help Books

I accidentally logged onto a list compiled by a man named Tom Butler Bowden. After conducting lots of research and interviews, he wrote down what he believed to be the top 50 self-help books of the 20th century (although some of the books on it were from earlier time periods). Now, as I'm often on the look-out for a good self-help book as often as a good fiction, I skimmed down the list with interest. To my surprise, I found I'd already read almost half of them. And for some that I hadn't read, I'd read other books by the same author.

Here are some of the self-help books that I've actually read.

The Bible (which was listed surprisingly as number 6)
The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Real Magic by Wayne Dyer
Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Creative Visualisation by Shakti Gawain
Women Who Run with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by Dr John Gray
You can Heal your Life by Louise Hay
Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz
The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr Norman Vincent Peale
The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck
The Game of Life and How to Play it by Florence Scovell Shinn

And this is not to mention several that could've been mentioned and would surely be in the top 100, such as "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle, "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, and several Christian classics such as "The Practise of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence and "The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life" by Hannah Whitall Smith.

My first impulse was to feel very tired, thinking of all those words I've read in the quest to turn myself into a better person which started far back in my teens. Yet I still feel like the same person, who is basically earnest and insecure, looking out for the next book full of life-changing wisdom. You think I would've been some sort of guru by now!

Is this to say that I think I've wasted my time reading all these self-help books? Well, I'd have to say no. Some of those books are real gems. I can remember scribbling down what I regarded as life-changing quotes from many of them. I have taken a lot of the advice on board. And it definitely has changed my life. "The Power of Positive Thinking" is the book that prompted me to become a Christian back when I was 17 for example. So if they've done their job and changed my life, why do I keep reading more and more and more?

This might not sound very profound but I think it's because I don't want to feel as if I'm missing out on anything good. It's the same reason why I sometimes feel frustrated and flustered when I look at all the great homeschooling curriculum that's available and know that I can't buy the lot. "This is pretty good but what if this other one in the catalogue is absolutely mind-blowing?" Well, it seems there's only one way to find out. I can see why the quest can turn into a treadmill with this sort of attitude. And a treadmill isn't what I want to be on.

So I took another look at that list and noticed something else. Many of them express exactly the same principles, in each author's own unique style of course. There were even groupings of books that encourage you to follow your dream, books that speak about the human condition, books about changing the way you think and so on. So looking at this list has taught me that all of the wisdom I need to get by in life is already lined up in these volumes on my loungeroom shelf. The Bible alone has enabled thousands of fantastic men and women to live their best lives. So I can jump off that treadmill and read self-help books in a less fevered, more relaxed manner, not because I'm afraid I'm missing something important and new but simply because they are more wholesome food for my brain than more depressing literature.

It's actually made me feel pretty good.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Mosquito Ring Tones

My son told me about this one. He saw a story on the news. It seems a number of school students have downloaded ring tones on their mobiles that sound like annoying mosquito drones but the frequency is such that nobody under the age of 30 can hear them. That way they manage to text messages to each other in class without the teachers hearing, although all of the students can.

We had to look this phenomena up on internet to put it to the test. Visit www.freemosquitoringtones.org and check it out for yourselves. They have a range of mosquito drones starting from one that everyone can hear all the way down to one that you can hear only if you are 18 years old or under.

Of course I could hear the one that everyone can hear. I could clearly hear the one that people under 50 can hear but by the time it got down to the one that only people under 39 can hear, it was so extremely faint as to be almost inaudible. And Logan expressed his amazement that I couldn't hear it because to him it was identical to the one that 50 year olds can hear. Of course by the time it got down to the ones that only people under 24 and teens could hear, I could hear absolutely nothing! Amazing.

Logan tells me a fellow on the news tested them out and when he couldn't hear them, he thought it was all a big hoax, but a young visitor in the next room called out, "Can you stop making that awful racket!" And it seems most school students choose the tones for under 30s for their classtime text-messaging.

Daydreaming and Prayer

This thought got started from a book I was reading by Bill Johnson, "The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind." He admitted that his habit of lapsing into daydreams in the middle of prayer times used to make him feel guilty that he'd wasted a prayer session. But it occurred to him one day that the daydreams themselves had been planted there in his mind by God, and then he began to regard them differently, as part of the prayer. I can relate to and understand that.

Maybe we are taught to approach prayer with too much of a stereotyped idea of what we should expect. Maybe the eyes closed, knees bowed, hands clasped position isn't necessarily the ideal pose for pray-ers at all times. Maybe reading down a list of what we've written beforehand, making sure we've carefully balanced our Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplications isn't the only valid way prayer will work. In fact maybe sticking to a formula can become more of a hindrance than a help as we become locked into a repetiveness that doesn't do much for us.

During prayer I sometimes feel the need to grab a prayer journal and jot something down from the top of my head (as this was). I sometimes get ideas for my books and rush off to jot them down. I sometimes start thinking about someone or some situation that is not on my list and mutter a little sentence on their behalf. I sometimes remember things I should've done. And I sometimes find myself grabbing a Bible to look up Scriptures in different translations. This often seemed like a very slapdash way of approaching prayer and I'd feel guilty like Bill Johnson, thinking of myself as very easily distracted. I like the way his book made me wonder if they are really distractions. If I regard them all as legitimate, sudden ideas planted by God, then maybe I can begin regarding them as part of my prayer just as much as the more formal parts.

Thanks for that thought, Bill Johnson. Instead of criticising ourselves for not praying enough - for there's already enough self-condemnation in our lives - we might do well to realise that we actually pray more than we think we do.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Risky Way Home

Did the title of this blog grab your attention? It was intended to because it's the new name for one of my older books which has just been edited.

Back in 1997, when I was 27 with one 2yo toddler, I completed a m/s named "Afraid To Love." My husband, Andrew, and I printed 200 copies to sell to friends, acquaintances and relatives to see how they would like it. As it happens, several people told me they liked it very much. But it was purely experimental and a bit rough around the edges. I've spent a considerable amount of time re-writing the whole thing and at last, it's just finished being properly edited.

I thought I'd share a bit of what the editor told me. The first was that I needed to change the name. In her opinion, "Afraid To Love" sounded a bit like a formula romance in the style of Harlequin, which my book definitely isn't. She said I needed to choose a new title to reflect the drama and suspense she found in my story. So after throwing around names such as "A Dangerous Love" and "A Perilous Love" I came up with what you see above, "The Risky Way Home." That's got the thumbs up from most people I've run it past so far.

As for the story itself, I was relieved to find nowhere near the sheer amount of editing changes that I needed for my "Quenarden" series. Being a contemporary novel set in my own Adelaide Hills, South Australia, I found the setting far easier. But here are a few bits of editing I thought I'd mention.

1) In several instances, she made notes that my heroine was focussing too much on the hero's good looks rather than his character (LOL). "For inspirational novels with Christian themes, his character really MUST be at the forefront!" And I never realised I was doing that. So that was an easy one to change.

2) She dispensed with one of my sub-plots regarding the heroine's sister and her husband. I was loath to see all that good writing go, but the editor wrote, "Trust me, you'll end up with a far superior manuscript. As far as I'm concerned, these guys are just getting in the way of your main story and frustrating readers because they're holding it up." So be it. As Andrew said, "It'll make our printing costs cheaper, anyhow."

3) The heroine has a brother named Dale and a b-i-l named Danny. Although I always knew exactly who I was talking about (of course), Wendy, the editor, found herself getting them mixed up in her head. Eventually she wrote, "Their names are so similar, I find myself getting confused and have no doubt other readers will too." So I had to change one of them, and as Danny is in the story far less than Dale, he became "Jeff." I thought if I had to make the change, it might as well be something as dissimilar as I could make it. Now hopefully, nobody will get them mixed up.

Our plan is to publish "The Risky Way Home" and re-publish another older one, "Picking up the Pieces" as soon down the track as we can. Meanwhile I'm working on another contemporary, "A Design of Gold" and also my newest Quenarden story. Things have always moved so slowly for my patience level, but I'm resolved to enjoy each step along the way. I had too cover guys over for supper last night, our photographer friend and graphic design friend, but I'll mention more about that next time.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A fun tag

I was tagged by Tara B to come up with 7 random or weird facts about myself. Here goes.

1) One of my favourite ways of getting imagination flowing is to take a drive, preferably at night, and listen to music. I'm lucky enough to have plenty of country roads near my house. It's a cosy way to wind down and also get some new ideas for books. Relaxing and writing are two of my favourite things so when I get to do them together it's a bonus.

2) Some things drive me crazy. I hate the noise of fingernails being run down a blackboard. I also hate the sound of a knife being cut into the bottom of a china plate. In fact just typing these things puts my teeth on edge.

3) I sometimes find myself getting a bit annoyed by common things people say. A prime example is hearing adults such as teachers or shop workers calling children, "Darling" or "Sweetie," especially in a stern way. When I was a little girl and people said it to me, I used to think it sounded so phony. My own children have noticed recent examples. A lady doing a puppet show at the library told a little girl, "Move back with the others, Sweetie, I'll be walking there." And an assistant at K-Mart told a little boy who was asking for help finding car toys, "You'll have to ask someone else, Darling!" I understand they mean it to sound kind and friendly, but it still smacks of condescension to me. Not many people use it with adults, after all.

4) Since reading a particular book by Joyce Meyer, I've also been sensitive lately to people saying "Oh My God!" In her book, she said that it's really accidental profanity when people say this. If they realised how they're watering down the power of this Name by using it so freely for pointless little things, they'd be far more careful. After reading that, I've noticed it everywhere! People even shorten it to OMG. TV sitcoms are rife with it. A well-known lady Adelaide news presenter said it last year on TV when she saw Santa Claus coming to the pageant in front of all the kids. I think it's a bit of a worry, actually.

5) I like Turkish Delight chocolate.

6) I think we mess our kids minds up when we teach them not to show off, shush them when they yell, 'I'm the best at this!', instill modesty in them, and then expect them to go out as adults and sell themselves to the big wide world! This occurred to me earlier this week when my daughter was playing with a little Bob the Builder toy truck that says, "I can fix it!" She said, "He's showing off," and I replied, "No, he's just advertising himself. That's different." Then I thought, "Aha, how are they supposed to know it's different?" Much better to praise them and make them aware of their gifts and talents in those very early years.

7) I need to read my Bible lots. I accept every word in it as the truth and claim it for myself. I've worked out that's like medicine. It's the only way I keep on top of things, because I'm a bit of a stress-head when I neglect this.

There, this has turned out to be a bit of a philosophical soapbox, but hey, that's what tags can be all about. I've been asked to hand the baton on to others, but I'll just leave this one open and say I'd be interested to read the blogs of anyone who takes it up.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I'll be my own house cleaner!

The title of this probably sounds a bit weird. After all, I've always been my own housecleaner. Nobody else wants to do it. This story started earlier in the week when I found a flyer in our letterbox. It said, "Do you run out of time to clean your house? Let me do it for you." And the writer went on to say that she was a hardworking Thai mum who would charge just $10/hour for all sorts of cleaning and ironing.

The price was the first thing that leaped out at me. $10.00 per hour! I know that professional housecleaners from agencies charge anything from $50.00 to $80.00 per hour. This lady sounded incredibly cheap and I had to admit I was interested. I'm not one of those cosy, good old-fashioned housewives who don't mind cleaning and tidying the house. They sound a bit mythical to me. To be quite honest, I find it a real drag. So I showed the flyer to my dh and talked it over with him. He agreed that her price was brilliant and said, "Well, if you want to give her a call, I don't mind."

I was on the verge of doing it. I even jotted down a little list, figuring out that if she came for 2 hours a fortnight to help with some mopping, dusting, bathroom, kitchen and laundry cleaning, it'd be a great help and only set us back only $40.00 per month. I had the phone in my hand but something held me back from dialling her number.

I figured out what it was. I've never paid anyone for help with housework in my life. If I was going to pay anybody for doing it, I'd prefer to pay my own kids! They are always wanting to earn money for different reasons. Logan is trying to save up for a PS3 and Emma likes a bit of money in her purse at all times for things that strike her fancy in the shops. So I put it to them that if they'd like to take an even more active role in the housework, I'd pay them the money I'd considered paying the cleaning lady. (At present, we encourage them to keep their rooms tidy, unload the dishwasher and hang and unhang the occasional load of washing.)

I didn't get much interest. They both said that although they wanted money, they'd rather not scrub laundry tubs, mop floors and wash windows on a regular basis. And when I told Andrew, he commented that it proves how serious Logan really is about saving for his Play Station. I couldn't help agreeing. That's when I came up with my good idea.

I'm always trying to earn money for Apple Leaf Books. We keep this account separate from normal living expenses. Theoretically, selling books should be the bulk of it, but during slower periods, I still need a cash flow. My editor has just emailed that she recently finished work on my m/s, so that'll be coming out of Apple Leaf Books. We'll be needing work done on cover design soon too, so funds will dwindle. I'd love to see the balance creep up again. That's when I thought that I ought to keep doing the housework as I've always done, and then extract the $10/hour that I was going to pay the cleaning lady to put into Apple Leaf Books! It might sound simple but I felt that it was a brainwave. So did Andrew, when I told him, and he said, "Hopefully it'll make you more motivated."

Time will tell! I can't imagine that anything will ever help me like housework, but thinking about this new way of doing things, I'm actually looking forward to turning on the steam mop shortly. After all, housewives do work hard enough to deserve a pay check.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Northern Lights in the South

This is a fun night excursion we did not once but twice. "The Northern Lights" was set up on North Terrace, Adelaide, all through March. North Terrace is where many of our stately old buildings are all lined up on one road. Some bright geniuses worked out a way to project changing images of light on each of the buildings and the result was amazing, like walking through a fantasy land. There were about five or six light images for each building, each lasting about ten minutes. The one above looks as if it's covered with ivy but it was all light.
Although I took quite a few photos, I'll only post some of them. This is one of the smaller buildings. It's Elder Conservatorium, where Uni students learn music.

This was one of my very favourites. The image is outside of the Art Gallery. Each of those statues were made of light! People were walking up and waving their hands through them.



There's Emma back there in a ray of light.


There was quite a crowd each night the lights were on.





I tried to take a close-up of this one on the museum. It was made to look like a haunted house with spider webs, and there was even a big red back image.




That's part of the state library.






We really liked the bright ones. My little camera isn't all that expensive but it did a pretty good job without its flash.







Because it was Blake's 4th birthday last week, I'll just include a few birthday photos too. It can be quite a trick to get a nice photo of Blake, as he's decided he's camera shy and never poses when anyone asks him to.








Here he is with his big brother.










One of his favourite presents, a kingergarten program for the computer.